Today it is gonna be a little serious. I have been posting stuff from the internet that is basically humour...I have been in the US for the last 3 months and I have already have some wonderful and some not-so-wonderful experiences. But there is something that is a bit strange with something that I thought Americans are very open about. That make me wonder even more. Just a few days back, My friend was travelling in a bus one day to do some shopping. Then this guy comes up, a black male priest I suppose,

Ashwinee: to bus mein alag alag seat pe baithe the
aur mere paas mein ek kallu aake baitha
me: kis khushi mein? ladaai ho gayi hai kya?
haan fir
Ashwinee: church se kuch to related tha
priest or whatever
me: Mm.hmm
Ashwinee: and i was reading a marathi book
so...after some time he asked me what language it was in
2:00 AM i told him it's my regional language
so he asked me if he wanted to learn it what can he do
i was like...WHAT ??
:)
me: :)
Ashwinee: so he asked me to write down the name of the language so that he can find it on the web
ok...
then he asked me what my religion was
2:01 AM i said i am a hindu
then he asked me...what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a hindu
i was like...what the hell
2:02 AM so i said that i didnt think any religion is advantageous or disadvan...it's just a way of living
so..
me: yeah then
Ashwinee: he said...
but now u r in the USA
so the culture and religion must have had some impact on u
me: :)
Ashwinee: do u like anything
me: :))
2:03 AM Ashwinee: so i said that there are some obvious changes that u have to make
but as such i am happy with what i am
and i dont think i need to make major changes in that
then he asks...are u going back after ur studies are done
i said yes ofcourse
me: :)))
2:04 AM Ashwinee: then he asks...but if u like some american and want to marry him and settle in the US then what
me: :))))
Ashwinee: so i said...i dont think my parents and my family will approve of that and i dont want to displease them
so he says...
i have children
i understand ur respect for ur parents
2:05 AM i wld also like my children to respect me
but i wldnt shut them in a box
they are free to do whatever they want
damnnn
i was so irritated
me: :)))))
Ashwinee: ye saale church vale log
it
it's not good to say this
but they are damn HALKAT
2:06 AM me: They are aggressive...
I don't really know why though...it seems so silly sometimes
Ashwinee: i hated it when they told abt the baptism during that horizons picnic
and i hated this guy
how r they concerned with my religion
me: but did this conversation end there?
Ashwinee: no...he got a call then
2:07 AM :)
and then i pretended to sleep
me: it was damn interesting...maaf kijiye if I am selfish
:))))))
Ashwinee: i just wanted to get up and walk away
me: yeah I dun understand 'em at all...
Ashwinee: seriously
me: what is the funda
Ashwinee: christians are worse than muslims
2:08 AM muslims are open in what they do
ye log bahot hi jyada diplomatic hai
me: haan diplomatic hain, but generalizations to hamesha galat hote hain
2:09 AM Ashwinee: and hindus are the only stupid ALL-ACCOMODATING people
haan that's ok
:)
me: there are more atheists in US of A than Christians
I was shocked when I read this...
Ashwinee: what ??
me: that more atheists than christians
2:10 AM but yeah, I don't understand this whole conversion shit
I mean what's the reason?
it can't be that my religion is better than urs...
cause fir to they wouldn't want any conversions...
as they would think they are superior
2:11 AM may be it's the other way around...
they are probably insecure in spite of the numbers
2:12 AM and way of living?? certainly not wrt christianity
in a diplomatic way, they call it free-thinking
giving the effect that this religion sets them free to do whatever they want
2:13 AM it doesn't prescribe anything and that sort of thing u know
Ashwinee: no
i dont think so
i might be mistaken
but they do feel they are superior
u wanna see my new cool shoes
;)
me: and makin it completely opposite to muslims
Ashwinee: they think jesus is the ultimate messiah
me: sure I do
2:14 AM but then they wouldn't want any 'lowly' religion ppl to become superior. would they?
I m a bit confused abt this point

The Beautiful Tree

"The Beautiful Tree" – this is the name of book authored by noted Gandhian Dharmpal on the indigenous education system in India. I am starting this post as a tribute to him who has passed away recently. I will further add to this from time to time as I get some more viewpoints.

Gandhiji, when he went to London for Round Table Conference in 1931, said in one of the speeches, “The beautiful tree of education was cut down by you British. Therefore today India is far more illiterate than it was 100 years ago.” Immediately Philip Hartog, who was a member of parliament stood up and said, “Mr. Gandhi, it is we who have educated the masses of India. And therefore you take back your statement and apologize, or prove it”. Gandhiji said he would prove it. But he could not do so for lack of time. Later one of his disciples, Dharmpal, went to the British Museum and went through the reports in the official archives of the British and published the book “The Beautiful Tree”. It is worth reading, for it completely and conclusively destructs many of the present day myths. It gives a survey report in detail along with the detailed information about the British education at that time, backed by lot of statistics, from the very own British records.

Further quoting from this article (http://www.indiatogether.org/education/opinions/btree.htm)

:))

QUOTE

The picture that emerges from the research work of recent years is only a resounding confirmation of what Gandhiji said in London. We now learn, with almost a sense of disbelief, that a large part of the country did have a sustainable education system, as late as even the early years of the 19th century, and that this was systematically demolished over the next 50 years or so. The present education system is, in effect, a legacy of the colonial rule. This system has perpetuated the notion that traditional societies were seeped in ignorance, superstition and rituals for thousands of years and lived a life of abject poverty, which was caused by an extreme form of social discrimination and exploitative socio-political systems.

So deep has this notion seeped into our collective consciousness that, it colours the belief of both, providers of education as well as of recipients and aspiring recipients in our society.

Factual records gleaned from the notes of British officials in Indian provinces testify contrary to the prevailing views among the educated classes in our country. The Indian education system at the end of the 18th century compared more than favourably with the system in England about the same time. In all respects, be it the number of schools and colleges proportionate to the population; the number of students; the quality of teachers; the financial support provided from public and private sources; the high percentage of students from the lower castes, and the range of subjects taught; the Indian system of the time was in a better position than the British. We need to appreciate these facts, not with the intent of glorifying the past or to condemn colonialism merely but to help us sort out our goals and strategies today.

In 1812-13, Thomas Munro reported that for areas of the Madras Presidency "every village had a school". Later as Governor of the Madras Presidency he reviewed reports to estimate that "there is one school for every 1000 of the population".

William Adam, a former Baptist missionary turned Journalist, in first report in 1835 observed that every village had at least one school; and that there seemed to be about 1,00,000 schools in Bengal and Bihar in the 1830s. G.L.Prendergast, Bombay Presidency council member stated in 1821 "that in the newly extended Presidency of Bombay "there is hardly a village, great or small, throughout our territories, in which there is not at least one school, and in larger villages more."

The Madras Presidency and Bengal-Bihar data concerning the background of the taught and the teachers presents a kind of revelation. The data is in sharp contrast to the various scholarly pronouncements of the past 100 years or more, which give the impression that education of any sort in India, till very recently, was almost exclusively restricted to the twice born among the Hindus and, and among Muslims, to those of the ruling elite. The actual situation was different, if not contrary.

In the districts of Madras Presidency and two districts of Bihar for which data is available, it was found that children from communities termed 'Sudras' and the castes considered below them predominated in the thousands. In the Tamil-speaking areas of Madras Presidency, 'Sudras' and 'AtiSudras' comprised 70-80 per cent of all school going children. Among the Oriya-speaking areas of the same Presidency, the percentage of children belonging to these two castes was 62 per cent; in Malyalam-speaking areas it was 54 per cent; and in Telugu-speaking areas it was 35-40 per cent. There were 11,575 schools with 1,57,195 children in Madras Presidency and there were 1,094 colleges. Nearly 25 per cent of all children used to go to school and a large percentage of children studied at home. The number of children doing home schooling in Madras district alone was 26,446 while in the city 5,523 children were going to school.

The new schools began the process of alienation from one's culture, country and indigenous value systems, which had far reaching consequences. An alien system, which gets state and social recognition, serves two purposes. On the one hand, the people lose confidence and the will to sustain their own indigenous systems, as it is perceived to be an inferior system. On the other hand, they find themselves incapable of managing the new system perceived to be superior. They let the old system wither away and the state does not replace the old with the new. Hence they end up having no system at all.

A change has set in over the past two or three decades in India. People have once again become very aware of the need to educate their children, in particular the male child. But the reasons for this regeneration of interests are very different from the academic motivation of yore, monetisation of the economy being the primary cause. Education is considered important not only because the aspirations of the community here, as elsewhere, are being shaped by the market and urban middle-class values, but also because white collar jobs and 'education' have' got irrevocably linked.

Where once education had meant freedom and building of interlinkages in social relationships, now it has come to mean the one and only route to jobs. A migrant worker compares the gross income of Rs. 1,500 or Rs.2,000 that he can earn in a city with the potential income in his village and finds the latter to be a pathetic amount. He does not take into account the cost of living-the amount spent on rent, transport and entertainment in a city. The non-monetised economy of the village and its benefits are also ignored, such as the cost of buying the grain which is grown in his own fields, the advantages of living close to the family and the like.

Statistical data substantiate that migration has increased in areas where 'education' has spread. People are moving away from their traditional occupations and going away more and more in search of white collar Jobs. Village land lies fallow because the educated youth refuse to work in the field. Aspirations have changed and so have values. The present education system is largely responsible for this mindset and for moulding the thinking in a way that all worth is measured only in terms of money.

UNQUOTE

For more articles of similar nature, you can go to:

http://www.eshiusa.org/TheBeautifulTreeArticles.htm

A New Diction

Gaur Farmaaiye (Consider this)...

Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you're eating.

Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when you come at them rapidly.

Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've
been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry.

Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is
destroyed. Hence faunacatering (v.), which has made a meal of=20
many species.

Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies
dwell without funding.

Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.

Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who
come to visit.

Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and
prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

Exam Mistakes...

Again got this in a mail. My apologies if you have seen it before. These are supposedly the answers that students wrote in some school...

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think.

Three kinds of blood vessels or the arteries, veins and caterpillars.

The dodo is a bird that is nearly decent now.

A thermometer is an instrument for rasing temperance.

To remove air from a flask, fill the flask with water, tip the water out and put the cork in quick.

A litre is a nest of young baby animals.

A vacuum is a U-tube with a flask at one end.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood, you'll get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body warps the mind.

The human is more intelligent than the beast because the human has more convulsions.

To remove dust from the eye: Pull the eye over the nose.

For head colds: Use an agonizer to spray nose until it drops into your throat.

For snake bite: Bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

The process of turning steam into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find in a bad apple.

Ammonium chloride is also silly maniac.

The school is ventilated by hot currents.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them.

Typhoid fever may be prevented by fascinations.

Algebraic symbols are used when you don't know what you're talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

Sound is a rapid series of osculations.

The moon is planet just like the earth only deader.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmer's grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, a farmer may get a crop of long-haired sheep.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Dew is formed on the leaves when the sun makes them perspire.

Vegetative propagation is the precess by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

Sea water is has the formula CH20.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

The hydra gets its food by descending upon its pray and pushing it into its mouth with its testicles.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

The cerebrum is a cavity in the head.

The hookworm larva enters the human body through the soul.

25 Analogies to make you laugh...

Recently got this in Orkut Messages. Dunno who has so much time to write these but they obviously have talent. Fun to read so here I go...

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

10 Most strange structures...

Courtesy: www.archibase.net



Melbourne, Australia


Manhattan, USA


Los Angeles, USA


Paris, France


Erevan, Armenia


Oxford, UK


Monaco


Oslo, Norway


Bratislava, Slovakia


Turin, Italy

10 Most Stupid Questions...

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" any good??
Answer:- No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well, you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb wit moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Women!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted
to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned
her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.
" So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in
the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man
in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and
what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish,and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you.
Stop here and continue feeling good ! =)

Male readers: Please scroll down.







The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're
really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy
the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to
show that you women never listen!!!!!!!!!

A good laugh...

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday


Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in
this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!


Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.


Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.


Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?


Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!


Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can
keep it.


Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Err...A Mathematical Love Letter

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in
trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular
face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your
triangular garden.

Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a
vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a
deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart,
it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots,
which only you can solve by making good binary relation
with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions
but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits
from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The
geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do n ot meet me at parabola restaurant on
date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of
160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial
of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives
of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras

Hayride and Bonfire - A Sadist's View!

A Sadist's Hayride - Nov 4, 2006