Time to Kill or Time to Decide?

Sometimes I just can't understand myself. There are so many things that have to be resolved probably by the next week but I just can't stop myself from wasting lots of time Orkutting and Blogging. Ok, I can control the latter but seriously, Orkut has become something too much for my time. That also says that I don't have a strong will but then I don't feel like doing things even when they are absolutely necessary.

First, there is this app thing that needs to be decided. The univs are holding half of the results and that makes it even more difficult. A univ of Stan's calibre has given me an admit but no aid. The amount is exorbitant by any standards and I m pushed to seek options. Ppl say try proffing, take a loan and many other things making me more and more confused. There are some options like going to Europe as the tuition is much cheaper with nearly the same facilities being offered.

Then there is this job of mine which is making me go bonkers. I mean there is literally not much that I need to do. And whatever is there, is not worth making efforts (that's just my opinion). So what do I plan? I plan to change my job. What next? Well, I have an interview in 3 days time. So got to prepare for that u know.

Then there are some personal things like the place and ppl I have met in the past few months. Jasmeet took a brave decision and is leaving for India this month. I m happy for him but that makes me anxious and to a certain extent, jealous. I find myself asking why? and really there are so many whys that I can't really answer all of them. But some of them have to be answered, that too probably in the next few days.

I feel I need to improve (possibly develop) my decision-making power, specifically, for these kinda situations. Anyway, I m not at all disappointed or depressed with life and may be happy that I have so many things to consider and so many options open.

Enough Rant. Rest some other day.

Aah...finally the link!

Finally I was able to get hold of the source of the last posting in my blog. It comes from the 'Wharton Undergraduate Journal' by Fu Jen.

Here is the link for the explorers: http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/

Being a Nice Guy...A tribute!

Well, this is not exactly something I wrote. A lot of this rant has been taken from some of my reads here and there, but still it has come out very well so here I go:

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in Quake to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Cricket - SA Vs AUS - The greatest game ever....was it?

Holy crap damn shit!

Well, these were some of the first words when I first set my eyes on the Australian scorecard at around 40 overs or so. After that, I didn't have any!
First of all, for those who really don't have a shit of an idea of what I am talking about, sample this:

Nearly 900 runs in a day in as much as 99.5 overs.
87 fours
nearly 30 sixes
Highest run chase ever (I mean ever...I still can't believe it happened)
Bowling Analysis: 10 - 0 - 113 - 0 (I really feel for the guy now as I have also been massacred a few times in my juvenile bowling career).
Just 'Mind Boggling'!

Purists will argue that it wasn't a fair contest and I do agree. I mean after this kind of ruthlessness, Pollock and Mcgrath would be thanking their stars that they missed this game. But you have to remember that the main aim of 'One Day' cricket is the entertainment of the crowd so I guess the worries about bowling being subdued should be shown the door. I still say, Test cricket is real cricket and if you are one of those who craves for 'real', then you can go watch that. For others, this game has spawned a new era of possibilities in the one day form of the game. I daresay that this might be an eventual effect of 20-20 in which both the teams involved have an edge over other teams. At the same time, if all games end up like this, it will take the fun part away from the game. Any team would be more than happy to just include 11 batsmen in their ranks and be happy about it.

Overall, I think a very good exhibition of cricket and the ending was just fantastic. I regret that I missed the live coverage and was able to follow it on cricbuzz only but then just following was too much fun. Imagine if you were in the ground!

Nothing more to say as I m too damn dazed from the proceedings anyway.
Aloha.

Varanasi Blasts - A perspective and the blame game...

As you all know, three blasts have been reported to occur in the holy city of Varanasi (popularly known as 'Banaras'). Out of these three, one bomb was detonated in a famous Hindu temple and that is one of the reason why we see a bit of communal colour being given to these 'Terrorist Attacks'.

Of course, it is a heinous crime and guilty should be punished with no consideration whatsoever but this incident has evoked in me a special response in terms of looking at something that might be deeper than the blasts themselves. I mean there are some things that I don't understand with respect to the incident and am just speculating on the confusion this have created in my mind.

It sounds very funny in a way that every time a terror incident happens in India, everybody, from the high-sitting politicos to the common police inspector, blame the terrorists groups supposedly operating from Pakistan to be behind the horror. I mean what the fuck! IF they are the ones behind it than what are you going to do about it. I mean by just shifting the blame to the neighbors they save their neck from people asking about why is it that the militants can come into India and have the power to detonate any place from Delhi to Bangalore? I am highly suspicious of the Indian police too, I mean in this case, I really don't believe that they don't have a speck of information before the blasts and they can kill, not one but three suspected terrorists within a few hours after the blasts. Also why they are always killed and never captured alive to get to the bottom of the conspiracy? Although I am in favour of killing the bastards so that no Kandhar happens again but? Suspicious, highly suspicious.

Even funnier is the response of our so called 'pseudo-secular' and leaders. At least I predicted the usual reactions like - "The PM has strongly condemned this heinous act" and "Security has been beefed up in all the major cities", blah blah blah. Duh! Do you seriously believe that we have the capability to secure every damn city from the terrorists? Well, I don't. We, as a nation, have become a nation of cowards with spineless leadrers and a 'secular' or should I say 'pseudo-secular' fabric to cover our eyes from seeing the reality.

For me, these blasts in the heart of India can only mean one thing - WAKE UP. But then I know that it's futile. After some time (when nobody cares) an incompetent commission would be setup by the government to look into the blasts and it may as well report that the blasts were an accident caused by high pressure built-up in a cooker in the temple premises, or due to excessive use of the oil-lamps by the devotees! They can also go to the extent that bombers were actually the guys who were trying to pour water on the 'accidental blasts'. No no, I am not kidding at all. remember the Godhra commission, it takes about 3 years to submit a report (when most of India has forgotten one of the worst times in the history of independent India) and then they say that the train carnage was a 'Fire accident'. Yes sir, as much accident as the 'Godhra riots' for sure. Bloody Morons!

Yeah, India, pls maintain peace and calm as we have done for about 50 yrs now. I hope we could say that 'we will screw the bastards to the core' or equivalent to the public. I mean how unstable are we that after a terror attack, we try to bring in order among ourselves? What is the message we are sending out to the bastards who did this, can do more and nobody's gonna fuck you? Of course I understand that, blast being in a temple could turn violent but to tell you the truth, I haven't read a 'Terrorist Attack' being the cause of a communal riot (Godhra excluded as it wasn't a terrorist attack that sparked the riots), at least in India. Please tell me if u remember one.

I would write more stuff about how I see the current situation in India specially after the 'cartoon gimmick' in the next post. Out of time now so see ya next time and I hope it will be soon.

Ghar ka Khaana!

First of all, For all those who are not well-versed in Hindi, the title of this post literally means 'Home-made Food'. I hope you can excuse my use of Hindi here but the meaning just get lost in English somehow and so I decided to keep it like that. As I said, it's supposed to mean more than just 'Home-made'. There is almost always an inherent meaning, a kinda symbolism, when you say 'Ghar ka Khaana'. You also know how ordinary things become great when you are deprived of it. And so is the case with the food, at least from my point of view. Confused? Ok let me do some explaining here.

Here in Singapore, as a vegetarian, I normally don't come across food of my liking. Although I am not much of a foodie an all but somehow I have got some weird preferences (at least all my friends say so) so it becomes all the more difficult to really get the kind of satisfaction one would have after a heavy meal. Here I dare to generalize that for most of the people, at least from India, 'Ghar ka Khaana' is the best. There are exceptions, of course, as one of my friend from Germany doesn't like German food now a days. Apparently she went to India for some research work and she developed so much liking for Indian delicacies that she has almost given up eating non-veg stuff!

Khair, lots of blabbering already. The point was that yesterday Jasmeet's dad came from India and he got loads of food for us ravenous wolves. What's more, everything was prepared by Jassi's Mom and Sis (and in-fact Granny also made a cake for us deprived souls, I mean things can't get cuter that that...can they!). Everybody had more than his fair share so much so that there wasn't much left for the latecomers! Their fault, we were unanimous (with the hole completely filled up, you should have seen our grins!) in justifying the balloons.

After the heavy Gaul's Feast, we all (about 7 ppl) were there in his drawing room, farting and bitching around. Now the biggest problem with farting among friends is to hold off all the expletives that we use in almost every sentence (for me it's even worse, I use approx. three in one!). A nearly impossible task, I tell you, but we did an enviable job, I mean just about 10 of those in about 2 hrs! Well at least I was very impressed with my performance, though Jassi's dad wasn't.

The same thing is happening in the office too. We have got a female company now a days and I, being a nice guy (or at least pretending to be one), have to control my use of some hugely satisfying words. I mostly get away with it as I immediately start using English for all the life's purposes and it just doesn't come that naturally in english you know. I don't think she minds one way or the other but nice guy is a nice guy...right? :)

Ashu.

Ashu.

I m sitting around...I got nothing to do!

Well, there is no better place to be than in a chair, that too the same goddamn chair on which you are sitting since god knows when! I have somehow forgotten everything that occurred before I sat on this the first time. Now it seems like I was born on this and I will die on this (hopefully not, a big sigh to go with it).
It never moves. I mean every F**ing thing in this world is mobile or at least soebody is trying to move them (bloody hell! even the mother earth is in motion) but my chair, my chair never moves an inch. I would be very grateful even if someone can just change my chair, or on second thoughts, may be my ass. I mean I am bored of my ass too. Everyday I have to use the same old ass to sit on the same old goddamn chair (and they say change is the only constant in life, bloody morons!). In fact, why only ass, change every damn thing. I don't want to be in this 8X8 pigsty anymore. Change the cubicle. Change the bloody computer and change this shitty filter in front of the computer.
Change the water bottle too. I am bored of it's red colour. To tell you the truth, red colour sucks. I have vowed never to touch 'the red' again. but then the question is how do I drink water? but then water is not that important to life anyway, Vodka!

Line of Fire (A Good Read)!

Vivek Pradhan wasn't a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the First Class air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi Express couldn't cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin guy, it was the savings in time. A PM had so many things to do! He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use. "Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop. Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car. "You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized." 'Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a detailed look. He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a Railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass. "You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex." "It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply. This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone. "Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in." "Hard work!" "Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office doesn't mean our brows don't sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing." He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point. "Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stationsfrom any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database at a given time; concurrency, data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?" The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things."
"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the project manager,"
"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat. "Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I don't do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. And to tell you about the pressures! There is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday." Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."
The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.
"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolor at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant Singh from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded. His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valor and duty was a daily part of life; a valor and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes. The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant Singh picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This was the hand that had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger and hoisted the tricolor. Suddenly as if by impulse he stood at attention, and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for this man and the country.

PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true life incident during the Kargil war. Major Vikram Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was posthumously awarded the Param Vir Chakra - the nation's highest military award.

Brokeback Mountain Sucks...But Why?

Well I have my reasons. I mean, you would think that after being nominated for 5 academy awards (Incidentally it won only one of that and I am sooo happy about it) and so much publicity an all, the movie loses its right to suck. I also think the same way, I mean I thought but both of us are WRONG. After the show all these presumptions shattered just like glass on a cement floor (hee hee, forgive me but you have to bear some of these). And really, wtf! I got so many bumps on my ass yesterday from all the buggers whom I dragged for the movie. To tell you the truth, it is still hurting (I mean my ass). Imagine if you are not able to sit on the only thing you would, and yeah that also sucks big time.

Actually the movie started very well. I mean the scenic beauty was really amazing. I was like awestruck at first. The good thing was there were no dialogues for the initial 15 minutes or so and the movie remained beautiful enough. As soon as the dialogues started, I started to give up a little bit. It's not that I don't understand english or I suck big time or something. If I can get everything out of friends and other movies then obviously I m not that bad. But this was something extra-trying-to-impress thingy. May be this has been one of the crucial factors to get some of those bloody nominations. Normally they give these kind of awards to either arbit give-up level movies or to some really cool ones and I wouldn't place this movie in the latter for sure.

I hate movies where you have to use a lot of your already overburdened brain to do the processing of shit to get shit, something out of nothing and that is exactly what happened here. The dialogues were too abstruse for my little peanut to comprehend. Initially I thought that I am the only one having the difficulty (again attributed to my limited exposure to english :D). But then one glance at the faces around me was enough to give me a nice idea of certain things. Movie was anyway slow and then if you can't understand things then that's it, not much can be worse.

I mean you remain up until 2:30 am and then what you get to have is an utterly painful screening. Anyway, was a bad experience and people learn from that only. I also did. You can go watch it if you are interested but the only thing is just because a movie has a controversial topic at its core, that doesn't make it an awardee for academy awards and some fools just don't understand that.

Chalo, enough criticism. I praticularly enjoy these kind of posts where you can shred things to pieces and can satisfy your big ego. You also know it's the easiest thing as far as writing is concerned so you can discount some of the cute suggestions made here and go watch it. May be if we share similar opinions we can talk more about it. And yes, the movie has a couple of 'Scenes' and is rated as 'M21' in Singapore but then they didn't ask anything at the ticket counter. And yeah, I didn't shave for a week to eliminate all the doubts anyway.