I m sitting around...I got nothing to do!

Well, there is no better place to be than in a chair, that too the same goddamn chair on which you are sitting since god knows when! I have somehow forgotten everything that occurred before I sat on this the first time. Now it seems like I was born on this and I will die on this (hopefully not, a big sigh to go with it).
It never moves. I mean every F**ing thing in this world is mobile or at least soebody is trying to move them (bloody hell! even the mother earth is in motion) but my chair, my chair never moves an inch. I would be very grateful even if someone can just change my chair, or on second thoughts, may be my ass. I mean I am bored of my ass too. Everyday I have to use the same old ass to sit on the same old goddamn chair (and they say change is the only constant in life, bloody morons!). In fact, why only ass, change every damn thing. I don't want to be in this 8X8 pigsty anymore. Change the cubicle. Change the bloody computer and change this shitty filter in front of the computer.
Change the water bottle too. I am bored of it's red colour. To tell you the truth, red colour sucks. I have vowed never to touch 'the red' again. but then the question is how do I drink water? but then water is not that important to life anyway, Vodka!